If I could name myself
DJ name: Project Salt ShakeShakeShaker
Band name: Oscillating Fan
NPR name: Jilalie [city in canada where aunt val and uncle vic live...]
Superhero name: The Descriptivist ("You know, that's not Standard Edited English you're writing, but that's ok, because it's still part of the language and I can't judge you based on your dialect.")
Supervillian name: The Prescriptivist ("You know, that's not Standard Edited English you're writing there, so I'm going to have to punch you in the face." BAM! "Also, C- on your paper. Learn the language, sweetheart.")
Adorable Canadian children's program character name: Twice-Baked Fanny (There's a fart joke in there somewhere. I'll leave it for Doni to find.)
Romance author name: Anne Sedgwick (Renowned author of such works as "Hot, Hot, Hot: A Steamy Story of Lobster-Love," "Have a Good Day: the Life and Love of a Lonely Wal-Mart Greeter," & "There's Something Wet In My Shoe, But I Still Love You: A Woman's Love Letters to her Cat")
Witness protection program name: Grand High Duchess Samanta Juniper Dickenson-Beauregaurd (I will be a botanist who always wears wide-brimmed hats and tiny spectacles)
Vh1 announcer name: Tina Bambina
Own brand of tomato sauce name: Brother Gregorian's Sinfully Scrumptious Tomato Sauce ("It's so deliciously, sinfully good you'll have to say 20 Hail Mary's just for G-d to look at you again.")
Cat name: Mrs. Sticky Fiddlepaws
No comments:
Post a Comment