i'm back

this shall not be a happy post.

things can go from so good to so bad and back again. for instance -
i spent yesterday cooking and cleaning the kitchen. i had fun, actually. listened to music, made quinoa and black bean salad, and aly came home with doug, so we hung out for a while while the veggies sauteed. mom came home from work right after i finished cooking dinner. the kitchen was a mess because i had just finished cooking dinner, and that made her cranky. we spent the rest of the afternoon being cranky at each other. Things got better when we stayed up to midnight, watching the Mummy Returns on tv.

another example -
i'm sitting here, sipping my 8th cup of coffee and eating a piece of brownie i baked yesterday. it's delicious with chocolate frosting and green sprinkles. i'm having a great day.
and then sean calls and says that he can only spend a few (2) days in erie. why? because the family needs the car and he can't just keep it in erie for a week. ok, so why don't we do that half-way thing where we both drive to buffalo and you hop out of that car and into mine and ryan (his brother) can drive your car back home?
answer: because Sean will be leaving tonight to drive one hour to Caylynne's house. Her birthday party's tomorrow. After the party he'll drive three hours to my house. Ryan won't be coming with. My feelings for Caylynne are bordering on the violent. Poor girl probably doesn't deserve my ire. We've never met. But this isn't the first time she's made things difficult for me. Goodness knows it won't be the last.
sean offered to take me back home with him. honestly, i don't want to go to NY. i want to see him and be with him in Erie. And stay in Erie. But I'll do what I have to do I suppose. It's not that i don't like his family - they're great. Nice people; we have fun together. I guess I just don't want to leave home. And mom and dad and aly were all really excited to see Sean again. Unfortunately, he'll be spanding ONE NIGHT in erie before heading home and they all have work or school during the day.
But whatever.

the downside of having people who read this blog is that i can't really vomit out my frustrations like i want to. i know sean's going to see this and we're going to have a Serious Talk and you know, I just don't want to. I know when i'm being unreasonable and selfish. Right now, though, i think i'm in the right. I can't remember the last time he's spent any amount of time with my family, much less me. and Caylynne saw him last week. They lived on the same floor for goodness' sake; they freakin' lived together. Send her a Happy Birthday Card and blow off the party with a "Gosh, Wish I Could Have Made It. See You In The Fall Sometime" and come to Erie to see your freakin' girlfriend and her family.